Holiday Movies

by Karen Balice-Gregory

What do the holidays mean to me? Sounds like a simple assignment that a teacher might give to a grade school class but maybe we all would be better off if we sat down and articulated it in our own words. After all, if we don't understand why we participate in something we may lose the essence of it all. Everyone has their own perception and specific memories of holidays past. The more years that we tack on to our experiences the more jumbled everything seems to become. The peaks and valleys of our history stand out most vividly so those are generally the times that tend to shape our personal view of what we expect of ourselves and what our expectations are of others. We are limited to whatever we can dig out from the brain cells that we have left. As multiple generations gather round, everyone gets a taste of what it all means...what it should mean...what it can mean...what it used to mean.

Each year as our family evolves, grows and expands to include new personalities we find ourselves still operating from the “old warehouse” of our beginnings. We had the luxury of “old world” grandparents living next door who always went all out to make sure we had fun. I can't for the life of me remember any gifts that they gave us but I do have a very specific vignette of old films reeling in my head at a moment's notice. Sometimes it's tough to distinguish the actual events from the pictures and old movies we've seen over the years...everything becomes blended over time...but I believe that the groundwork was laid with very little thought about whether it was enough in terms of our gratification.
From what I can remember, my grandparents and parents gave us what they could afford and we never expected more or felt deprived. In retrospect, I think we all appreciate their efforts to make sure that we had what we needed even if it meant sharing from time to time. We wore homemade and “hand me downs”, squeezed into small spaces to sleep, eat and study, and had obligations and responsibilities.
We slipped through our childhood not even knowing that our options were limited...what a gift!

If nothing else, this economic downturn has given us all a taste (and a very slight one to be sure) of what it takes to live within our means. We have become such a society of excess raising our children to expect or feel entitled to things that we can not only afford but end up paying for at the expense of real necessities. We are all guilty to a degree because it has been too easy to replace the gift of time with articles of distraction. The more we spend entertaining ourselves trying to escape the rigors of life in general, the fewer the vivid memories of real relaxation with family and friends. Laughter, forgiveness, realistic expectations, love, compassion, support and encouragement don't cost a thing but without them it doesn't really matter what's under the tree. My kids will tell you that they don't remember most of the gifts I have bought them over the years...in fact some of them are stored in their basements and garages (they think I haven't noticed.) They do remember the fact that some years I didn't even wrap them or have a Christmas tree to put them under. At the time I didn't think it mattered and I was so stressed out buying, budgeting, and stressing over the gifts themselves I lost the true meaning of it all.

What goes around comes around and I'm back to square one. My options are limited, I have far more time than money, and even in light of all the new technology and high speed everything I would rather give my children and grandchildren gifts that they can store in their heads and hearts. My ancestors sure knew what they were doing and all of it was produced in small little houses on neighborhood streets outside the confines of Hollywood!