Gratitude

by Karen Balice-Gregory

As our families evolve and we become grandparents and great aunts and uncles we begin to realize that nothing can really stay the same. It would be nice if everyone could gather at the same place and time and experience the holidays together “like they used to be” but that just isn't realistic.

All of our children eventually marry, move away or both and traditions must be adjusted to take into consideration the needs and wants of all the extended family members. Sooner or later the young adults want to begin their own customs in their own homes or they compromise with the in-laws trying to split their time between two families ... sometimes many miles away. Throw in divorce, step-parents and siblings and before you know it everyone is spread pretty thin trying to get together with everyone.

A day (or week) of relaxation and celebration becomes a mad dash to get from here to there not only on time but in one piece. You can't wrap gifts before traveling by air for obvious reasons and trying to keep children occupied and quiet for any kind of trip can be exhausting. This holiday season will be one of many transitions but we are all thankful that we still manage to make it work.

People celebrate Thanksgiving many different ways. For many of us there will be family time of one sort or another. We will gather together, eat too much, laugh a lot, commiserate about the economy, and reflect on the past and who and what got us here. With our second generation ranging in age from 16 to 37 there are varied levels of participation, enthusiasm and boredom.

Third generation is comprised of children 10 and under. They will all have fun never noticing any adjustments in food, time, day or anything else for that matter because time is a relative term that they are not too familiar with. They don't have much of a past to dwell on and future to them means later. For the most part they live in the “here and now” ... somewhat of a forgotten art. Instead of worrying about what will happen tomorrow, or next week or next year they are still pretty much in the “play” mode making things up as they go along.

The more that I get into “grandmothering” the more I appreciate the gifts that children offer us. My 3-year-old grandson has recently become quite enamored with his imaginary friends. Most of them have jumped from the television set into his world but he has suddenly discovered that he can gather them together in a moment's notice or send them away when he's tired of them. He rescues them, plays games with them, orders them around and even disciplines them.

His little brother is easily entertained by it all, laughing out loud as he formulates a plan to join in once he becomes more mobile. Our newest addition, the 2-month-old, is just coming into his own. He's smiling more, sleeping better (sort of) and has already become a master manipulator of us all. All three of them definitely keep me busy playing, pretending and remembering how important imagination is.

They'll grow up soon enough and begin to notice how “uncool” I really am so I'd better take advantage of their youthful interpretation of fun. Happy Thanksgiving to you and to all your imaginary friends (and relatives for that matter.)